I just finished our newsletter and while you probably imagine me having tons of time in front of the computer working on formulating words for our newsletter, I’d like to let you know that it took me one and a half week to complete it 🙁
Now onto this blog. I’m sorry I’ve been out of words to write in our blog this past month. Actually, I’ve been planning to write several times, it comes out like juice in my brain but my body won’t cooperate lately. Either it wants to head to the bathroom and throw up while suffering headache at the same time, or I just can’t sit still for a long time as I have to make another trip to the bathroom every 10 or 15 minutes. Baby Pepper in my tummy is indeed keeping me busy.
It’s 1:02 am here and while I do believe I should be sleeping by now to get more iron in my close to anemic stage, I just can’t passed on the opportunity to write. I’m willing, my body is willing and it seemed like Baby Pepper in my tummy is sleeping. Of course, that is accompanied with chips and salsa by my side.
I wanted to share with you “What Happens after 10 years”. Really, next week…Tim and I will celebrate 10 beautiful years of our life together as husband and wife. I am still amazed at how much we’ve gone through yet we are here…still together by God’s grace. Most people see us as two people so in-love with each other, yet beneath the surface, we fought, battle & even raise our own flags. At the same time, we forgave, reconciled, talked through and wipe each others tears together.
We made it through 9 years last year and just the thought that we are going to cross the line of our 10th year of marriage seemed surreal. We met on a cold autumn night in New York then got married in the winter of December. We’re crazy right? Here’s much crazier. We met online!
After living in 7 homes (not including the short-term free stay in some wonderful people’s house), 3 states, blessed with two wonderful children, shared the grief with loosing our 3rd child and now anticipating the coming of another new one (Baby Pepper)…I cannot fathom God’s goodness and grace to us. In fact, we both believe, we don’t deserve each other. Tim has his share of reasons why he thinks he doesn’t deserve me and I do too. Whenever we fight, my natural me would feel the selfish thought of he has to put down his pride and make peace with me. Yet, I am also taken by my heart and my thoughts that this man I love is still the same man I don’t deserve. It’s always a reminder to us and as time passes, our love continues to grow and we become more mature in our faith in God.
Now I wonder, what happens after 10 years? Our first big milestone of marriage is coming and how are we going to face the coming years?
I’d say nothing will change, just like our love for each other won’t change. He (God) is still in the center of our marriage and we still don’t deserve each other. Maybe we will grow older, we’ll have some white hair, we will also still fight here and there (hopefully smaller fights), disagree with each other, reconcile and forgive each other, we’ll have laughs and tears, celebrate families together, walk hand-in-hand, celebrate life, grieve together, cry for our children, cheer together for our children, share moments and grow wrinkles together…but after 10 years, in our mind and hearts, we both don’t deserve each other and God will continue to be in the center of it all.